I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
