Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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