You smell like stripper and shame
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
