i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
