when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
