my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The air was thick with penises
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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