Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
