I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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