vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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