There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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