living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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