he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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