Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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