at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
