Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
