Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize