I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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