Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize