Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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