i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
