I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
