All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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