he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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