hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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