brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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