Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
