Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize