Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
