It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
