Your tits are I can't wait for
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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