i think my mom watched the whole time
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
