It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
