We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
