we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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