I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
