i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
