I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
