Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
