I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
