does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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