He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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