I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize