I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
