I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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