I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
