This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
