Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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