So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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