I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize