ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize