To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
