is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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