If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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