he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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