I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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