just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
