I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
