Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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