Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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