I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
