I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
