Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
