i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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