at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
