also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
