Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
