before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
