my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
