I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
