her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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